Sex Change Regret

Every time I see a short waggly skirt bobbing along on the sidewalk,
I regret my sex change.

No matter how much I try ...

... I still can't fly.

Why Moon People Are Mostly Happy

Moon people laugh a lot. They're always happy. Only rarely does one have a problem, and then only for a short time.

They get along well together. They laugh a lot.

And do you know why?

I do.

It's because the moon has only 1/6 as much gravity as the earth. That means they're 6 times lighter, their hearts are only 1/6th as heavy, they are only 1/6th as serious as we are.

Imagine enjoying life 6 times as much as we do.

Something I don't understand, though. Well, not with 100% certainty. Do you think they are so far above the earth because they're 6 times lighter? It seems that's probably the reason. Maybe I should ask someone who knows.

Maybe, if they were closer down to earth, they would have more gravity and more problems and laugh less.

My Death, Yesterday

I was killed yesterday. This is how it happened.

I was walking along the road, minding my own business. You know, flipping off the male drivers and making rather rude gestures to the female drivers.

Well, one of the female drivers had a fast reaction. She was hardly 20 feet away, coming along the road toward me about 45 miles per hour, when I made my rude gestures.

Just like that, she swerved, hitting me on my knees with her bumper so hard I flew several feet.

Wouldn't you just know it, there was a rock right where my head landed. Blood and brains spattered.

I guess you could say I ended up being the one who was rude-ed.

This Place Stinks

My, but your planet smells. How can you stand it?

This is too much. I'm going back home.

The Titmouse

Misser, the cat, walked toward a bush near the RV.

A titmouse started chattering. Twitty chirping would be a better description.

As the cat moved closer to the bush, the titmouse's excitement grew in volume, both in sound and amount. That titmouse sure was excited!

I guess it had been a while since it had seen a cat. It was nice to see Misser getting such an enthusiastic welcome.

The Train Bush

Just south of the RV park we're staying at are some railroad tracks. Once in a while, a train goes by.

Relative to some we've experienced, these are quiet, mostly; far enough away so we can hear a low rumble of the engine and, when they approach the nearest intersection, the whistle is not annoying.

Yesterday, a big long train came by. It came by slow. And slowed down some more. And stopped. It stopped right across the intersection.

This was a long train. Both ends extended past the point where I could see it, behind a hill on one end and behind some building on the other.

Must have been a guy had to go.

That's the thing about working on trains. You have to map out the bushes, so you know when you're approaching one. Because when you have to go, you have to plan for the stop.

If you wait until the bush is visible, you're going too fast to stop. You must know where they are, ahead of time, so you can slow down and and be stopped just as you get to the bush.

The intersection is more or less just a town street, not a thoroughfare. Even so, there was a block's length of stopped traffic before the train started moving again. Must have been a dump.

That's the thing about working on trains. You have to to plan ahead. There is no such thing as "when you gotta go, you gotta go." It's more like "when you think you might have to go in the near future, it's time to consult the map."